:: re-adjustable wings ::

shiny golden wire of hope

Today was rather fun. After sleeping away the afternoon, family and I puttered down to Dodger Stadium (think blue) Lexus' special test drive event. We snuck a peek at the new rx400 hybrid - which was very nice - and gorged ourselves at the "buffet" tables, only one time through please. My dad, of course, promptly ignored this and went back for seconds. Anyhow, only driver's over 21 could test drive the vehicles (damnit), so I was stuck playing passenger the whole time. It was still fun though, because I switched drivers back and forth, and got to experience more cars the the rest of the family. Nyar har har. Ironically, my favorite ride at the Lexus event was not a Lexus, but the Beemer 330i. My, but what a fun car.

Afterwards, we went and watched (by process of elimination rather than actual willingness) King Arthur. Snicker. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Bad for the movie, as is wasn't meant to be comedic, but good for me, 'cuz otherwise I would be watching about women who sneak cocaine over the border by swallowing little pouches of the stuff.
It was pretty surprising how bad the movie was, considering Jerry Bruckheimer was involved. And should the movie turn in any noticable profit, they should all get down on their knees and thank Kiera Knightly for her popularity. I swear, her face is what sells the movie. I'm not sure how the rest of the audience was reacting to the movie, but I'm sure they were pretty irritated at me, as I was laughing at the most inappropriate times.

Young Lancelot: I will return!
*he cries*
Inbred family: AOOOAHHHH!!
*they cry*
Me: Ahahhahaaa!!

Guinevere: I've heard tales of you...Arthur and his knights.
*smiles even though it is snowing and she is wearing a lowcut dress*
Arthur: ....
*looks deep and thoughtful, but is really ogling her boobs*
*Guinevere and Arthur flirt*
Audience: Awww...
Me: Hee hee hee hee
*snickers uncontrollably

*Guinevere bathes, even though it is still snowing, yet she appears to be well insulated by what is either see-through gauze or glass. needless to say, glass did not exist at that period of time*
Audience: *ogles naked Kiera*
Lancelot: *ogles naked Kiera*
Me: Hahahaaahaahaa!! He's just a big pervert!

Guinevere: Follow me into the snowy woods as I wear nothing but a sheet!
Arthur: Okay! ...hey wait, you're going to betray me to Merlin!
*Merlin appears, looking like...well, a bum.
Merlin: Peace! I've no battle with you!
*Arthur glares, remininsces about tragic motherkillingfireydeathscene*
*Audience holds breath in respect of dramatic moment*
Me: Haw haw haw!!!

Arthur: I'm frustrated!
Guinevere: Don't worry so much! Let's have hot monkey sex!
*they make out, with much obvious groping*
Audience: *ogles semi-naked kiera*
Me: Hahahaahahaa!! She's just a big slut!

-Big Battle Scene-
Guinever: Yaaahhhhh!!
*is painted tribal punk, and again wears strips of clothing even though there is much snow*
Me: ....

Guinevere: Aaaah! I'm getting my ass kicked!
Misc. fellow female warrior who we only get glimpses of and appears to be the only other human with an x chromosome on the battlefield: I'll save you! We women must stick together!
*they both jump on poor Saxon man, doing very good hungry Harpy impressions.
Guinevere: Growl! Snarl!
Misc. Woman: Hiss! Grrr!
Saxon man: Bliss! I mean, ouch!
Me: AHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAA HAH HAHHAHA AHAAHAAAA HAAAAA!!!
*at this point, i'm too far gone to care about the dirty looks the audience is giving me.*

*Tristan dies*
Me: Hahahahahaha!

*Lancelot dies*
Me: Hahahahahaa!!
Arthur: Why God, why!
Me: Because he was a pervert! Ahahahaaa!

-Big End Wedding Scene-
*Arthur and Guinevere get married. She has somehow managed to find a snow white dress while the other Britons are still decked out in strips of dirty cloth and tribal tattoos. Arthur is crowned king, they romantically shoot flaming arrows out into the sea*
Me: ....is that Stonehenge?




:: britt was abducted @ 9:55 PM, Saturday, July 17, 2004 ::

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i should have changed my fucking lock

After the 2nd day of staining the house, I do believe I have acquired an odor. It's not very noticable, just at the tips of my fingers (and I assume my feet, but I have yet to work up the courage to lean down and sniff them). The stain is unbearably sticky, looks suspiciously like milk tea, and lies on the house like, well, like milk tea, if we were to spill it all over the deck. By the end of the week, the whole house will stink to high heaven, (which will, curiously, not dissuade bugs from crawling around) hopefully enough to irritate our next door neighbor. It may sound mean, but I wouldn't be unhappy if her cat got sick or all of her plants died.

...If the cat dies, I'm going to hell, I know it.

More on last weekend's cousin wedding later. I smell meat.

:: britt was abducted @ 6:59 PM, Wednesday, July 14, 2004 ::

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